Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
babies were throwing up all over the place
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
