So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
