dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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