honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
