yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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