Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
