dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
