Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
