Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
