so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
