hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
