Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
