I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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