All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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