And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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