i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
