is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
