this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
