i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
