He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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