love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
