The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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