is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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