Plan B is the new Plan A
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
