Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize