the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
