Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She bit a glass in half.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
