dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
