i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im holly from the hills drunk
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
