ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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