So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
