now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
