I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize