sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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