she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
