my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize