brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
