Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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