We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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