in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
