We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
