She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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