Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
