and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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