nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
