How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
