idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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