i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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