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Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
