we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize