You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
