you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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