This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
