More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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