The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
