I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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