im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
