sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
