Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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