Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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