I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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