you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Randomize