Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
