That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize