You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
