I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
