I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
