The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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