So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
