Nicole vs. Life
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You left your phone here
Wait...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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