so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
